Dear Men Who Have Loved, Do Love, or Will Love a Broken Woman, I must start by saying the one thing that is the most important: She wants to love you. She wants to be loved. But there’s one catch. She doesn’t know how. At times it seems she does. She seems happy and secure and at peace with her life. There is a smile in her eyes and a pep in her step, and damn it, she is just pretty incredible. Maybe sometimes she really does feel this way. I'm sure she does. But other times, because she thinks she's supposed to, she puts on a brave face and smiles and does what she thinks she must. So here are the things she would say to you if she knew how: ~She doesn't believe you when you tell her she's beautiful. She wants to believe you. She really really does. But someone in her past told her differently. Someone who was supposed to make her feel beautiful and wanted. Maybe it wasn't words. Maybe it was the way he looked at her. That one time she was told her stretch marks from her pregnancies looked like a trashy road map might require hearing she's beautiful two hundred times to be cancelled out. She might need to feel you want her a thousand more times to negate the time he said her lady parts were rotting garbage. And maybe she won't believe you even then. Because... why should she? ~She wants to be intimate and to give you everything you want in the bedroom. But how can she feel comfortable being naked when there was something about her appearance that wasn't good enough for him? What if all those days, months, or years of nearly starving herself and working out everyday didn't make her stomach flatter and her butt rounder? One time, he said something so hurtful about her body that now she feels like there is no way any man could ever truly want to be intimate with her. ~She is not as confident as she looks. She seems like she has it all together. Makeup looks effortless. Hair is neat and tidy. Career going well. Children happy and thriving. However, so many days she feels she is merely putting on a show. That nobody sees the real her. Because if they did, they might not like what they see. You get glimpses of her. When she's laying in bed in the morning, her eyes opening for the first time. She smiles and wipes the sleep from her eyes. And in that moment, that's when she needs to be told she is beautiful. That's when she needs your arms around her. That's when she needs to feel wanted. ~She needs your help. But she doesn't want to ask or tell you to help her. When she's sick or down or just had a long day, she doesn't want to still be responsible for making lunches and making sure teeth are brushed and cleaning the house and making sure that life. goes. on. She might hint at this. But often times, she won't say a word. She'll make the lunches, make the kids brush their teeth, clean the house, and make sure life. goes. on. And you might not even know she feels this way. Most of the time, you won't. She's so used to everything being on her shoulders that she won't expect anything more from you. But hell, it sure would be nice. ~She doesn't want to push you away. She will. Hard. She doesn't expect you to stay. She expects you to change. To make her feel comfortable and wanted for a while before you disappear into yourself. So she will protect herself. She will find reasons to run, to be distant, to decide you aren't what she needs. But you are. She needs you. And not in the ways you might think. She needs your patience. She needs your attention. She needs your understanding. She needs your hand. Your mind. Your heart. She needs you to realize she is here because she does love you. Give her time. Give her love. And please, please... don't give up on her. Sincerely, Broken Women