Try not to laugh... I dare you.

Teenagers.

Instigators.

Pot stirrers.

What would be the most fun thing to do in your English class?  Probably making the teacher bust up laughing.  I believe it is some students goal to make me laugh hysterically in front of the class by the end of the year.  And some of them have gotten damn close.  But seriously.  With some of the things they say or do, you have to be very quick and witty with your comebacks AND/OR try not to laugh.

Exhibit A
Student A: You saying I'm stupid?
Me: No... I'm saying you could be smarter.
Student B: Dude, I'm saying you're stupid.
(I had to turn my back and walk away when Student B chimed in.)

Exhibit B
Dead silent classroom:
Student: It's hotter than the devil's vagina in here.
...
Me: Rather than comment on the temperature of the room, I'd like you to be silently reading the assigned chapter like the rest of your classmates.  And I'm pretty sure you've mixed your metaphors, because I'm relatively positive the devil is male. So if you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to stay after class so we can talk about being appropriate in class and have a discussion on mixed metaphors.
Student: Yea... Ok.

Exhibit C
I'm telling the class a story.  It wasn't a particularly humorous story.  But one student in this class of seniors had a rather pronounced case of Asperger's Syndrome. This sometimes caused him to not have appropriate responses to certain things. 

Well, at the end of the story, he starts busting up laughing.  Nobody else is laughing. It's silent. All eyes on this student.

And then, as suddenly as he started laughing, he stopped. His face was completely serious. He sat looking dead ahead. No signs of a smirk or a smile or anything.

And I lost it.  I had to turn around.  I stared at the board stiffling my laughter for at least a full minute.  The rest of the class was stifling their laughter, too. 

I felt bad... But come on!  It was freakin' hilarious!